Wholeness. Joy. Healing. Fulfillment.
Does that sound like infertility to you?
But our God is faithful. He calls us to Himself, and transforms our hearts during challenging seasons.
As soon as I read Natasha’s unique Mother’s Day post, I knew I wanted you to meet her. I have enjoyed reading her blog for quite some time now (and appreciated her insightful comments here on Frugal Granola!). It has been a blessing to see what God has done in her heart.
She has placed the desires of her heart into our Father’s hands, and He has filled her with an incredible joy. I am so excited to share a guest post from Natasha today.
“After battling the depression that came from my struggle with infertility for about a year, I felt a need to read through the entire Bible. I had 30 days before my next obligation so I went to work. 26 days later, I finished.
There is something glorious that happens when you read the story of Salvation in that short amount of time. The voice of the Father grows louder with every chapter. His heart comes pouring through the pages…
On the subject of my struggles, there were two truths that I felt to the very center of my being.
1. I am not in control of my fertility. We like to think that we control so much! We dictate how many children we have through birth controls, so therefore we think that we control how few children we have. With that mindset, I was believing that my lack of children were my own fault. Which, in turn, was bringing about depression. But the word of God says that he is the one who opens and closes wombs.
2. Healing, in God’s eyes, is wholeness. Not necessarily being perfect physically.
In a piece that I wrote about infertility soon after my 26 day encounter with God, I ended by saying:
What, then, is healing to God? If I was to stand before him today- perfectly healed of all my sin and all my physical problems and all my personal wars… what would it look like?
I would look whole.
That is, after all, what I long for, right? To be whole.
For each person that may look different. As different as we are from each other. For some people wholeness comes in the form of miraculous healing of limbs or cancer or eyesight or hearing. For others, like the quadriplegic, Joni Eareckson Tada, it may come in the form of a ministry and passion.
For me, I don’t know yet! It may be that my body will heal and I will bear children. It may be that God will give me a ministry and touch lives through my pain. It may be that my husband and I will adopt a houseful of children from war-torn Liberia.
The list is endless, but one thing I know for certain, now. Today. God promises wholeness. He doesn’t leave his children broken and bleeding all over the place. He makes us whole.
“Seek me and live.” He says. It really is that simple. Seek him and he will give abundant life. Which is, in other words, wholeness.
That was written over almost a year ago now. Do you want to know the exciting part? God did it.
The longing in my heart was to be a mother and God made me one. Not in the way I had thought! My body still doesn’t function right and I’ve been unable to bear children but God is faithful.
Once my eyes were open and my heart was soft my children began arriving.
One is 14 years old and spends most Friday nights at our house. His “real” mother is an alcoholic. So, he picked me to replace her. He calls me “Ma” and tracks mud into my kitchen.
There are about 5 teenagers at our church who call me “Mom.” They give me hugs on Mother’s Day and wave wildly if they see me around town.
I have babies who laugh in delight when they see me and young children who come running to get hugs and kisses. I have kids who ask for songs and stories. My life is overflowing with children!
I could tell stories about each one. The point though, is this: God is faithful. He promised wholeness and he always fulfills his promises. For me, wholeness came with the knowledge that I was a mother. For another it may be something different: but God is faithful. Ask him what will make you whole! And watch what he does in your life!
My prayer for all who struggle with infertility is simply this:
Oh, Lord, don’t allow Satan to steal the joy from their lives! I rebuke the lie that every Mother’s Day or news of a pregnancy or monthly cycle will be a journey of pain. I ask instead that you fill them up! Enter their hearts and make them whole.”
Natasha lives on a farm in Northern New York along with her husband, Amos. She is a full-time wife to Amos and mother to any child who comes into her home (even if it’s just for an afternoon!). In her spare time she writes and leads a ministry for young girls, Women of Promise. You can connect with her at her blog To Live For Him.
Thank you for joining me for Part 5 in this series! I am writing A Journey of Blessing Series for women who are in challenging seasons of life. If you are one of them, I invite you to join me each Friday (or if you know of someone who might benefit from this series, send them this way). Here is Part 1: Encouragement, Part 2: Hope, Part 3: Longing, and Part 4: The Impossible. I would love to hear your prayer requests, questions, and suggestions.
GUEST POSTING OPPORTUNITY!
I am also looking for women interested in sharing their testimonies through such a journey. If you are interested in guest posting for this series, please let me know at frugalgranola (at) gmail (dot) com.